Reply to Is it normal not to love your elderly parent who is not abusive or mean?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I kind of get it, OP. In my case my father was a good, caring dad to me, but I wish he would have been a better husband to my mom. He is inherently selfish and everything in our lives while I was growing up centered around his wants. He says typical old people things that can be racist, embarrassing, insensitive and that makes it a little difficult being around him at times. Oh well, I try to focus on his good points. I am worried about what will happen when he can no longer live independently. [/quote]

It sounds similar in that I’ve come to understand that my dad is a very selfish man, though he comes off as someone very devoted. I don’t have a good way to explain it. He always needs someone to report to, will go to great lengths to not upset his “master”, which seems like his ultimate goal in life. It’s like he has to depend on someone for his livelihood, emotionally. He is trying to make me this person, by always praising me, saying how he misses me, etc. However it doesn’t feel sincere, it feels like he wants my approval so much, like it’s critical for him. 
I’ve never thought about it before and I can’t express it well, but it’s as if he is trying to cajole me and my sibling into not abandoning him (which we aren’t going to do anyway, but he is so terrified that he doesn’t realize it and starts being clingy). 
This is something I need to think about btw 
-OP[/quote]

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