Reply to Failure to Launch Daughter Is Unemployed and Blaming Me for All of Her Problems

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]New poster.
I think it’s best for you guys to take a break from each other. 
There’s no guarantee that a kid and their parents will like each other. It is ok to be apart as adults. Not everything is someone’s fault - be it a parent or a child- sometimes people just aren’t compatible and they happen to be related. 
[b]I would help her with a used car as having a car helps with employment, but after that I’d just distance myself. [/b]
[/quote]

We have fought about this a lot. No, she is NOT entitled to car. FFS, if she wants a car, she can get a job that pays enough to buy one. Relying on your parents to buy a car as a 24 year old while you're UNEMPLOYED is ridiculous. [/quote]

DP, but I’m going to have to disagree on this with you, OP.
Assuming you had a hand in bringing this child into the world, you are responsible for helping them launch, commensurate with your financial ability, without strings attached. The unfortunate fact is, unless your DD lives in NYC or a very limited number of other locations where it is truly possible to live without a car, she needs a car to get to work. Get her a decent used car. We are doing this for both of our kids. The worst thing is to start them off in debt.

You are way too controlling and your daughter is 100% correct about the church attendance thing (and I am a churchgoer)

Stop harping on her weight, it is her business.

The job market sucks right now and new college grads are facing record unemployment rates. This is not DDs fault. It is not the English major that is the problem. 
I majored in art. I managed to find employment, though it was not at all a straight path to financial success. I eventually got a corporate job and worked my way up and now highly successful in a totally different field you would never imagine an art major being successful, without ever getting any advanced degrees or certifications. Learned on the job. There’s plenty of hope for your DD but YOU need to become less of a horrible person, if you are even real.

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Nope. That's not how it works. She doesn't get a car. She's on her own for that. And DH and I make a HHI of ~$600k/year combined. So we can definitely afford a car for her. We just don't want to enable her antics. [/quote]

Wow.

Enable her antics? You sound really emotionally immature if that’s how you describe your daughter’s use of your Amazon account to buy shampoo when she is in a tough spot.

So you can easily afford to help her…. You are just choosing not to because you probably think you are “principled” but you really are just a horrible broken person.
I can’t imagine how I would feel if my parents were like that. My parents were far less affluent than you. They could not give me everything but they did what they could. Your daughter must feel very unloved. 
You reap what you sow, OP. 
I really hope your DD gets a job and cuts you off forever because you don’t deserve a relationship with her.

I don’t know why you keep coming here. DCUM is rarely united in opinion, but the opinion on you is pretty unanimous. So if you don’t like what we are telling you, why bother?

Either help her or don’t. Your choice. You seem to enjoy the drama. [/quote]

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