Reply to Question for anxious parents: what are you truly afraid of?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Peer group matters a lot. Obviously, there are smart kids at every university, but [b]constantly being surrounded by driven & accomplished peers breeds a natural desire to excel and succeed[/b]. And as parents, we all want our children to succeed, no matter how we individually define 'success'; for me, it's defined by how my kid sees it, and they want to aim for an elite university.[/quote]

For some, yes. There are kids who willing and able to "up their game" and maybe even thrive in a fairly homogenous high-intensity environment.

But other kids with with the same amount of talent and ability may have a very different reaction. For some, that type of unabated external intensity can breed anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and/or burnout.

The same external stimulus can have a different effect on different people.

I understand that your kid wants to be in that type of environment. Hopefully it works out and it suits them well.

But please recognize that there are equally talented and driven kids who will more likely thrive in a different type of college enviornment.

For some kids, internal motivation goes a long way. Regardless of who they're surrounded by, they're going to work very hard and reach their potential. Not because "everyone else" is doing it, but because that's how they're wired.

And unfortunately, some of these highly internally motivated kids find all that external motivation to be exhausting. When combined with the motivation they create naturally, it's just too much. So being in a more low key enviornment can be perfect for them. They get to set their own expectations and make the most of the opportunties around them and then take a break from the intensity when they need to.

Different strokes for different folks.

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