Reply to single income family/ SAHM major disadvantage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][twitter][quote=Anonymous]I’m a SAHM to law partner husband.

The thing is, my DH and I also both believed in both partners contributing financially and domestically (and we met when we were teens). But by the time he was making 3M+ a year, my 200K income was not contributing. It just wasn’t. So it’s a weird thing, to feel like I ought to be contributing financially, and I’m educated and accomplished, but I literally can’t.

My career became more like a hobby - and one I frankly didn’t like all that much. I still dabble part time so I can pick things up when the kids are older, but no question the only way for me to feel like contribute was to devote more of my time to family tasks. If I contributed 200K a year I wouldn’t be stopping us from being “dependent” on one income. If his income changes drastically, our lifestyle will change drastically (though we’d be ok).

[b]Anyway just throwing that out there. Sometimes not working, even with school aged kids, IS the best way to contribute. [/b]

[/quote]

Just to be clear, you ARE working. You just aren’t getting paid for it. Anytime you feel otherwise, go over to the parenting forum and read the posts inquiring how much you should pay a live in nanny who, in addition to taking care of the kids, also: cooks, cleans, takes care of the house etc etc etc. You’ll find that you’re actually a unicorn who should be getting paid $200k. [/quote]

:roll: [/quote]

Roll your eyes all you want. That number came from working moms on this very forum pricing out what this work would cost if you hired someone else to do it. Rolling your eyes just makes you look defensive or like you can’t afford it.  [/quote]

Some before and after care, a house cleaner, and sahp quality meals would not in any way equal to 200k. [/quote]

It’s close.  We are pretty frugal but with summer time and kids not starting school until 5 yo, and needing before and after care you are looking at a full time nanny really for at least ten years to replicate what a sahm does- around DC that’s around 60K.  Not to mention maternity leave, daily cleaning with laundry, and fresh dinner  weekday delivery would be looking another 50-60k.

I work only part time so we outsource some but not all of that.  It’s actually less efficient and more expensive (-45K) because it’s harder to find part time child care than full time and you cycle through more providers which takes a lot of management time.  I’m lucky I have telework or it wouldn’t be worth the hassle.  I also like spending after school time with my kids and their friends’ parents so I actually have some idea of what their life at school is like. 
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