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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]None. I wouldn't even call my husband stupid, much less worse than that. Intelligent people don't resort to name calling when in an argument. [/quote]

Not to parse words here, but..  is “don’t be so stupid!” name calling? I don’t think so. PP who said we are our own boundary on this is exactly right. [/quote]

I mean, isn't it? On what occasion would you say that to your husband? I think calling someone stupid is rude and unproductive. Does it even describe the behavior accurately or clearly explain how you feel about what he did? To me, it doesn't. So I prefer to use words that make sense and further discussion. If my husband left a bag of trash on the bag porch, for example, and the dogs got into it when they went outside, I suppose I could say "don't be so stupid!" but what purpose does that serve? Can you give me an example where that works, and by works I mean helps the person who did the thing to understand what they did and how you felt about it?[/quote]

Different poster.  I can think of a scenario.  Let’s say that DH and I have a child with SN that got into a school that serves kids with his disability and will probably be our child’s best shot at transitioning into a traditional classroom at some point instead of being in a hybrid classroom/ homeschool situation.  
  
Despite the fact that we will actually have MORE money coming in because DS going to school means that I can work more, DH has sticker shock and doesn’t want to pay for the school and more or less shuts down and refuses to talk about it whenever I bring it up.

I mean, hypothetically.  
 
[/quote]

PP here. First off, congratulations on your child's acceptance into that school!

I could come up with some choice adjectives for your husband, and you and I could bandy them about, I just don't see how calling him stupid would further the discussion (that I guess he's refusing to have anyway) on this topic. I'd probably get a third party involved, hopefully someone who can help your husband see how beneficial this will be for your child, and maybe even a different third party to discuss the financial piece of it.

Let me be clear - it's not that I've never thought to myself "my husband is being stupid/a jerk/an ass, etc.," I just don't say those things to him because I don't think it's productive to call names. I also think the name calling OP was talking about is completely unacceptable, although I can sympathize with you wanting to call your husband the male version of those words given the frustration with your current situation.[/quote]

+1. Focusing on calling the DH stupid (or not) in this scenario is just a distraction from the actual issue. [/quote]

I’m sorry, but obviously there are multiple other parties involved.  I didn’t just decide that DS has SN and submit IEPs on my own for the last 7 years.  
For a bunch of reasons having to do with his own childhood and his own guilt and work ethic, DH is really struggling with the fact that DS has SN, and it is really frustrating for me and for DS because it makes it harder to move forward with any intervention.

I don’t see how that isn’t the issue.  What to you think the actual issue is?  [/quote]

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