Reply to In-laws want to go see ds in college

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "In-laws want to go see ds in college"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I doubt it's about the expense. They probably don't feel comfortable doing this without you as a support person. Or they don't think they can get from train to college because they don't want to drive a rental car in an unfamiliar area.

So much of seniors' demands is them trying to work around their inability and people not wanting to see it for what it is. [/quote]

It’s not even remotely weird for your son’s dad to bring his parents to visit without you.

Basically, it sounds like your husband is emotionally lazy and likes you to do all the hard work for him of navigating around people and their needs.  DH doesn’t want to spend a weekend with his own parents without you?  Seriously?  That’s ridiculous.  THAT’s weird.  It sounds like he likes having you there to cushion (that is, take all the bruises from) his mother’s nastiness.

OP, you gotta stop being the buffer for your DH with his parents.  If his mom dares to yell at you, walk away.  It’s DH’s problem.   But I bet he’s not even worried about this and you’ve been carrying anxiety about their stated wants for days now if not longer.

(Have you ever been in therapy?)

They're very autonomous in all other ways: both work, both are very active and walk miles every day, go out constantly with friends. I get that the driving is really intimidating at their age and I'd never demand they drive that far, but they are demanding it from us and I don't think that's fair either. And yes, i am scared to say no because they will be pissed off.[/quote]

What’s wrong with letting your husband handle it? It’s his parents, he can say yes or no. You can chill at home. [/quote]

No, he doesn't want to go alone with them. I also do think ds would think it's weird if I don't go. It would have to be during a weekend.[/quote][/quote]

It’s not even remotely weird for your son’s dad to bring his parents to visit without you.

Basically, it sounds like your husband is emotionally lazy and likes you to do all the hard work for him of navigating around people and their needs. DH doesn’t want to spend a weekend with his own parents without you? Seriously? That’s ridiculous. THAT’s weird. It sounds like he likes having you there to cushion (that is, take all the bruises from) his mother’s nastiness.

OP, you gotta stop being the buffer for your DH with his parents. If his mom dares to yell at you, walk away. It’s DH’s problem. But I bet he’s not even worried about this and you’ve been carrying anxiety about their stated wants for days now if not longer.

(Have you ever been in therapy?)[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics