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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see my kids and grandkids as my legacy.  A way to pass on my genes and continue the family line.  It is basic biology.  For me it is important to see my kids succeed not only for themselves but also so that they can give the same benefits to my grandkids and other descendents.   I have invested time, effort, money, sweat, blood and tears to raise my kids. They know that they are very precious to me. I will give them all the benefits that I can, but, I will also make sure that my kids are worthy kids.  Whatever time, love, affection, care, direction, guidance, support, communication, community, network -  I need to give to them, I have given to them and will continue to give.

All of this is because you need to raise good and intelligent kids.    Because once you have good-for-nothing, lazy, greedy, morally sick children - you do not get a do over.[/quote]

I think the issue is if you give a lot, some kids will get lazy as a result of being given a lot. I struggle with this as dh and I were given nothing at all after 18. It motivated us and made us grow up very fast. I sometimes worry that helping our kids so much more (they are in college now and it's something I ponder a lot as we provide a lot of help) is going to make them less motivated to achieve. I am really surprised young working adults would be on their parents' plans.[/quote]

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