Reply to How to communicate to parents about reason of estrangement so they can stop the “we have no idea”?

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[quote=Anonymous]As many have told you, you have to let it go. Imagine them as ostriches with their heads under the sand as that's the max of their coping ability. Denial, denial, denial. I think a lot of us, especially on DCUM, have been/are in your shoes. In a way be happy, like the PP said, that your parents are not using YOU to be THEIR dumping ground as it's also very common, especially with emotionally immature moms. I'm also low contact, maybe even no contact, I don't know. I set up boundaries a few years ago and a s*storm ensued, but after I stopped laying down, she kind of stopped all contact. I have NEVER had any emotional support from her, being parentified from early on. I'm finally at peace with all of it. That said, my dad was the reasonable one (even though in retrospect enabled mom's crazy or maybe tried to avoid it?), so usually one parent is more "normal" than the other. When my dad was alive, I communicated with him instead. So I'd not take them as a package deal, you know yourself which of your parents can be talked to and which one cannot. [/quote]

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