Reply to How to communicate to parents about reason of estrangement so they can stop the “we have no idea”?

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Reply to "How to communicate to parents about reason of estrangement so they can stop the “we have no idea”?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I am not in these estrangement wars but I read your whole post and I have no idea what you want. [/quote]

I want (or wanted) a real relationship with them, where not all interactions are surface level.  I am okay with surface level relationship at work, for example, if a co-worker is racist towards me, I wouldn't confront that person, I would just set quiet boundaries and carry on.  I would only act if boundaries are crossed.  But I expected more with parents, I guess I was wrong.  I thought people should have open communication in a healthy relationship.  But reflecting on upbringing, I think because of the way they were raised, they don't communicate at all, even to each other, everything is swept under the rug (to put it nicely).  I want them to stop saying "How are you doing today?" as if they care, because we all know that the only answer that's allowed is "I am doing good".  [/quote]

Have you considered the possibility that the relationship feels superficial because they feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you?[/quote]

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