Reply to Are there things people can say or do that you can’t really come back from, even with an apology?

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[quote=Anonymous]I haven't read any of the posts so sorry if I missed something but based on the title of your post, yes, absolutely, I have had three people over 25 years who can't come back from what they did.

The first was mostly based on the fact that this person thought I had done something (that I didn't do), and ultimately I realized that I didn't want to be friends with someone who would think I would do something like that. We no longer lived in the same city by the time this happened so it was pretty easy to just not engage with them anymore, it's not like I created drama or avoided events or anything.

The second person did something to my kids. This was a sports professional who was upset we were changing to another group and reacted childishly to try to hurt my kids. It's hard to explain exactly what it is without going into details so I just won't care if anyone thinks I'm being petty - this went way beyond trying to keep a kid off a team. In any event, my kids were deeply hurt (and were 9 and 10 at the time) and I'll never forgive this person for doing this to them. Also, they've never offered an apology but I'm not interested even if they wanted to do so.

The third person made up a rumor about me (cheating) and spread it amongst my friends (who, ironically, this person barely knew). None of my friends believed it because it's absurd (and it's not true, you'll just have to take my word for that) but at almost 50 I am way too old for this kind of ridiculous drama so I cut this person out of my life and I have no interest in an apology for them because there is no way to come back from intentionally spreading a rumor you know is not true (and it started with her, so she wasn't simply repeating something she had heard). For what it's worth, this person is almost 20 years younger than me but was trying to date my friend (22 years her senior) and didn't like that I wasn't supportive of their relationship (which I told him when he asked, I never said that to her).

Otherwise, I am a big fan of apologies, but there are definitely some things you can't come back from, in my book. [/quote]

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