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[quote=Anonymous]Not OP but reading this thread with much interest.
I too received something from my estranged parent and I still haven't opened it and wondering what to do. 
Yes, I was physically abused as a child. I tried to keep a relationship going for the sake of my kids but as my kids got older, they became the target of ire (slamming doors on them when they said good morning, locking them out of the house when parent in a sour mood, etc..). 
Parent has always gossiped and talked about each of my siblings behind their back and engineered discord amongst us all. There was a lawsuit at the death of one parent, and recently an unfounded claim of elder abuse reported on a sibling. I just didn't know how much else I could take.

I have spent many hours of many years pondering how to make parent happy, what to do to make things better for them, strategize when and how to visit with my children. It consumes so much psychic energy to figure out what works best.

I have been free of that burden since parent told me not to ever call or visit. Surprisingly, it has given me a lot of calm. But when I think of opening that box and what it would engender... it would pull me back into that darkness. 
All I could see is parent setting me up to just knock me over again.
My kids are in college and don't express much interest in this grandparent. I'm not sure if we will all regret it later on.
But not having to think about what can make this parent happy and tiptoe around making the relationship work has been freeing.

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