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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son got into a top school EA. It was the school where dh and I attended. He is a top student in all respects, hard worker, great stats/rigor, leadership, community service, etc. And none of this was pushed/curated by us, he really drove it all (including applications), and we are really proud of him.

A couple of kids from school who got rejected said “oh but your parents went there” like that’s the only reason he got in. I know it helps that we did, of course, but his stats match the student population, it’s not like he was pulled up despite bad grades/scores. We aren’t big benefactors either, it’s not like the school would see big donations in our history.

So how to respond if someone says that? [/quote]

Our son is also a double legacy at a top school and he just got admitted early. We also aren't big donors. Son also is very qualified.

Some responses he could say:
"Yeah, I'm lucky"
"Yeah, it helped for sure" (short and sweet, being gracious and confident always works best)

If it continues to come up, maybe humor, " Yeah, it helped. I still had to trick admissions to let me in during my interview."

Self-deprecating: "I don't know how I got in here" (with a confident laugh).

I will be telling my son to not mention legacy when he attends. It can be taken as bragging. And really, who ever talks about where their parents went to college?

It is a great privilege, no doubt, to have legacy and it helped our sons gain admissions. It is a further privilege our son has that we can pay his tuition. Some students who get in (especially middle class), might not be able to attend, despite winning admissions, because parents can't afford it. Our son knows this but it should be underscored.

And he should know that others will also have assumptions made about them: athletes also get this ("you don't belong, only here because of your sport" or assumptions that their stats are lower). Of course minorities and women have been hearing forever that they don't belong or didn't earn their place.

Your son (and mine) should be confident and gracios with their wins. They are just at the beginning!!![/quote]

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