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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] The DH needs to NOT be talking to the mom of his 26 YEAR OLD 'child' about the 'child's' plans. That's ridiculous! I coparent and have one minor, and 2 adult kids. The adults (and the 26 is one) make their arrangements with us parents (we do talk regarding the minor of course).

Essentially, we let the adult kids know our plans (ex. I'm planning to serve dinner at 3) and the adult 'child' lets me know if they are coming or not, or if there is any flexibility ('dad's eating at 2, could we eat later? 'sounds good, see you then') .

OP, in your case, I'd just assume the adult dc is coming and ignore the dh and ex. Just step away from their nonsense.

[/quote]

OP here. That's exactly how I thought things would be. I guess knowing I'm not nuts will have to suffice.

Honestly, I wonder if all the folks saying to set a routing have adult kids. What on earth would that look like. We sit at home with no plans if it's not "our week"? We make plans but tell DSS he can't come because it's his mom's week?

At this point, I think the best I can do is keep things as low stress as possible. At some point, maybe soon, DSS will get a serious partner and the more pleasant we make the holiday experience, the more likely we will get time with him. And I have a feeling once there is another person in the mix, DSS will just let us know his plans, and we can work around his schedule![/quote]

He’ll pick a partner with less dramatic parents and they will spend every holiday with them.[/quote]

That’s what I was thinking too. Your husband is shooting himself in the foot here OP. He can’t give up one day or let his own kid decide? He sounds awful. [/quote]

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