Reply to Are all the good men really taken by early thirties?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not all, but most. There are some that will get out of starter marriages but if they had kids in in those marriages then you're signing up for the blended family show (before you come for me I grew up in one).

I finished med school at 30 and did not want to get married before then. I can confidently say that once I was in the working world and a busy attending, I was astonished at how fast the quality of men dropped. I remember going out on an online date at 32 (ugh, I was so young) and having the guy tell me, on the date, that he had five children with his STBXW and also that he had been "robbed online" before our date and could I pay for dinner.

I'm sure there are hopeful stories out there but I talk with my DD about the timing of education/career goals/marriage, and if she wants to accomplish certain things about the importance of how she dates in her 20's. I don't want her married young. But the cute bartender with 8 tats and no goals isn't going to be the guy (unless he's tending bar at night and going to grad school during the day). It's harsh, and I know it sounds anti-feminist. But women have about ten years starting at age 20 to make decisions that will set the course of their lives re: finances, marriage, career, and children. Some strategy is required, unromantic as it may sound. [/quote]

45(M) got married at the age of 35 to a 25(F) after one year of dating.  I made over 2M at the age of 35 in FinTech, and the last thing I wanted to do in my life was to be married to a doctor, lawyer, or someone who has a full-time pressure-cooking job. [b] There can be only one starting quarterback on the team.[/b]  The vast majority of successful women, those that make over 1M, don't want to be married to a mechanic, plumber, etc..  They call this hypergamy.  The vast majority of men out there are just invisible to them.  That's just the way it is.  As for me, I am married to a woman who received her accounting degree from GMU, and after we got married, she quit her job to pursue her passion for violin, piano, and had a lot of time to improve herself.  She also devoted a lot of time to raising our two kids.  The past ten years have been the best time of my life, and hers too.  My advice to young women out there, between the ages of 22 and 25, is to look for guys who are between eight and ten years older than you.  Those guys are already established financially, and they are ready to marry if you're reasonably attractive and kind.  They couldn't be careless about your career.  YMMV.[/quote]

+1 to the bolded. It's crazy how ambitious women look for ambitious men and then complain about how the men don't take care of the house. Lady, marry someone with a less demanding job. Both of you cannot always be under stress.

But young women who marry 8 years older have to be very aggressive with prenups or it is a no go. If you are going to give up your career to be with a man, you better make sure he has enough money to take care of you, and you set a prenup protecting you if you divorce.

For example, with this PP, his wife should have asked for 25% of his premarital earnings after the first child and 50% after the second. If he said no, I would have refused to marry him. You cannot give up your career for marriage to a settled man when none of that will benefit you in divorce. You'd be risking much more in the marriage than he is. You'd be making marital decisions based on his financial security which isn't really yours if he chooses to dial down on his career and walk away after 10 years in marriage.

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Pre-marital earnings weren’t much. It’s when his career took off he started feeling invincible and entitled to a newer model. Thanks god I had a good degree in finance and was able to get my CPA on  fast track within a year post divorce. I did get close to 50% in divorce settlement and now gainfully employed so I’m safe financially. But I can’t imagine how less fortunate SAHM may end up in their 40-50s[/quote]

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