Reply to Isolated moms, why not get support?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Those who aren’t looking for social connection are fine the way they are. But for those who do want it:

1. Welcoming vs. Connection

Welcoming = being open, kind, polite, non-excluding.

Inclusive = treating someone as part of the group, inviting them to participate, not shutting them out.

But some people mean something very different:

They want reciprocal emotional closeness.

They want friendship chemistry.

They want a deeper personal relationship.

Those things can never be guaranteed, no matter how welcoming a group is. Chemistry is organic. It can’t be forced.

2. Why Some People React With Blame

When someone interprets “they were polite to me” as “they like me,” a mismatch happens.
If the connection doesn’t grow the way they imagined, the disappointment is personal, and so they conclude:

“They’re cliquey.”

“They excluded me.”

“They didn’t try hard enough.”

“They don’t like outsiders.”

Blame becomes a shield for:

hurt feelings

insecurities

fear of rejection

a belief that others “owe” them emotional closeness

3. Emotional Maturity and Skill Gaps

Not everyone has developed:

healthy expectations of social groups

the ability to tolerate ambiguity (“Do they like me?”)

resilience around rejection

the understanding that warmth ≠ friendship

People who struggle in these areas often default to anger or accusations because it’s easier than admitting:

“I feel lonely.”

“I hoped for more than what they can give.”

“I don’t know how to build friendships slowly.”

4. A Healthy, Realistic Boundary

“People can be polite and welcoming, but they’re not obligated to become my close friends.”

That understanding makes social life smoother. It reduces entitlement and protects everyone involved.

5. Many people struggle with this.

It doesn’t mean the people who struggle are “bad,” but it does mean:

their expectations are unrealistic

their emotional reactions have more to do with their internal world than with the behavior of others[/quote]

I love it when people who ramble about social skills (posting what appears to be AI slop) fail to understand the actual social situation. The mom in this scenario wasn’t mistaking politeness for friendship. She was in a setting where the other parents weren’t even being polite at all (ie not opening up the conversation to others in a social setting that is supposed to be inclusive.) [/quote]

You are dismissive, personally insulting (“AI slop,” “ramble”) and contemptuous.

Contempt is one of the most corrosive conversational tones because it shuts down any real exchange. It signals:

“I’m not trying to understand you.”
“I am morally or intellectually above you.”
“Your perspective isn’t worth engaging with.”

People often do that when:
they’re projecting their own frustration
they’re emotionally charged about the topic
they feel threatened by nuance
they want to win, not understand
they’re looking for a villain to blame

A new parent event should be friendly. It cannot revolve around meeting the emotional needs of one person.[/quote]

lol just keep it up. [/quote]

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