Reply to Waiving child support for primary custody

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I'll reply from a perspective many years out. DD's father was only interested in parenting if he could control all the decisions; an indication of his personality and why I left. In the aftermath, he was unable to participate in meaningful conversations about custody. Each negotiation turned into a diatribe of how I was ruining his life. He refused to be redirected re: the issues and focus solely on a plan for DD. Eventually I gave up; I declined child support, but said I'd file unless he agreed to a custodial plan. I was open to his suggestions and needs. He had none. I was granted sole legal/physical custody. I never filed for child support. He has since walked away.

In retrospect, what I know to be true about him is still true: this is someone who would have never negotiated in good faith, and would have been disruptive in DD's and my life on an ongoing basis. However, I'm still sad that DD has this blank space in her life. She does not appear to be affected, but these things can surface at any time, at tend to, once people have their own kids. I wish he had been able to see past his own issues to be some kind of father, even if minimal. He couldn't, so I completely let go.

In your case, file if you need the money. I bought peace by declining it, but it also did not hurt our lifestyle to not have it. Consider however that the impact on the kids of having him be absent is entirely separate. I wish our situation was different. I'm glad there's no drama, but it still feels like a loss for our family.[/quote]

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