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[quote=Anonymous]It definitely happens but it’s not the norm, obviously. DH and I (very unexpectedly) hooked up with another couple for a bit in our forties and it was hot… but ultimately messy. I’m just glad we all remained friends. There are people in our town who are known to be swingers and they seem to be pretty unhappy people overall. I’ve noticed one pattern, which is a lot of them got married young and didn’t get to sow their wild oats.

For me, there is a contradiction I just can’t shake which is, I need to know someone at least a bit in order to be attracted to them. True swinger lifestyle is strictly sex with strangers, and that’s really not appealing to me. But neither is any kind of polyamory, because what I have learned is once feelings are involved it is messy, and a HUGE time suck. I mean, just think about how you feel when you first fall for someone, even just sexually—it’s all you can think about. I felt it took away time and energy needed for my kids, my marriage, my life. So I am not opposed to it in theory or for any moral reasons. It can be really hot and fun. I’m sure some people can juggle it all, but for the majority it causes more problems than it’s worth.[/quote]

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