Reply to Living on my salary alone bc dh was laid off. How do I convince DH to cut back on non essentials?

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Reply to "Living on my salary alone bc dh was laid off. How do I convince DH to cut back on non essentials? "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you upset because you think your DH is being wasteful with resources and teaching your DC to be the same? Or are you upset because your DH's spending is causing your family financial ruin? If the latter, that's easy, just cut him off (there shouldn't even be an argument about it). If the former, I don't think you get to patrol how he spends his money. Maybe buy him some gym equipment for the house and convince him to cut off his fancy gym membership. That's the only expense I see that would add up. The other expenses don't seem like that big of a deal --- your DH seems to be healthy - maybe ordering the meal with a big drink is the cheaper option and throwing out a big drink means he is not consuming the calories.[/quote]

Op here. Not financial ruin but we are not able to save much at all. And these little things add up quickly, and then if you add the occasional bigger ticket item here and there, my dh and dc easily sound [b]several thousand a month on extras.[/b] It is not nothing. [/quote]

Wow. That’s worse than I imagined. You’ll need to talk to the teen separately. My dad was a spender (to a much smaller degree.) My mother explained it to me when he wasn’t around repeatedly. She’d point out that she only bought three pieces of meat for dinner and ate beans herself for financial reasons. She pointed out that she wrote letters to her mother because he had long-distance phone calls to his. He ate out weekly, so she needed to pick up extra shifts. Was it messed up? Sure. But she wasn’t the source of the dysfunction. He was the one spending a little more than the family could afford. He learned the habit from his mother who grew up rich, but married a poor man. My mom was just picking up the pieces and trying not to pass that expectation on to yet another generation. I was very uncomfortable with the conversations. It was not great for our relationship. I’m still glad she did it. I’ve evolved into an adult who can save money when I need to. My dad and grandmother never learned because no one explicitly taught them. [/quote]

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