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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well that happened to me but it was my own dad who wouldn’t pay anything even though he could.  He bought a new more expensive house, a new luxury car and retired early in the span of time l put myself through college and didn’t qualify for loans because he had money.

Is it really that uncommon for step parents (and parents) to expect “bootstraps”? I have a few co-workers who are also refusing to help their kids with college even though it seems like they could afford to help.  [/quote]

What makes it unreasonable is that our system presumes a parental contribution, whether the parent is willing to pay or not.  They are free to make that choice, but they are not free to say it is okay.  Their kids are demonstrably worse off than low income kids when it comes to paying for college and the parents are making the choice to do that to their children.  [/quote]

This was my father. In divorce my addict mother was getting screwed and my well off father was hiding assets (risky from a legal perspective but such is domestic relations court). His cadre of 20 year old women were expensive as plying them with vacations to Italy and fancy watches was expensive. I was admitted to Princeton but soon saw the future as being kicked out for lack of payments. My father was very well off so no chance of getting financial aid. My brother and I knew the score and opted for D1 athletic scholarships, which we relied on being completely on our own since age 18. My father would brag about our achievements and I don’t think he ever figured the odds of having two great students who were also in the top 10 in the nation in their sport. He didn’t care. I was no victim though. I was poor but had absolute freedom and learned to be accountable only to myself. I loved being so independent and surviving by really putting it out there effort-wise. The lesson learned for young people is to be very skeptical of parents who are not open, transparent and committed to a specific level of commitment. It caused issues later in life with my father. He thought we didn’t respect him, which to a degree was accurate. But not because he didn’t pay for college - no - it was his lack of honesty surrounding the matter. In his social circles he could not admit to abandoning his kids. The relationship furthered soured when I sent my kids to Princeton, all paid for with no debt. He was furious as if somehow I was doing it to make him feel bad. I admire the parents who support, but set limits. The transparent way to go about it. [/quote]

My god that was a long and boring post. You should have saved some cash for actual therapy. No one on DCUM cares about this shit.[/quote]

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