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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t for a second take credit for my kids’ good qualities. It’s luck.[/quote]

Some good qualities can be expanded with the parent’s help.    And sometimes a parent needs to take credit for some bad qualities.

My daughter had some friends in the 3rd through 5th grade that were mean.  They were always excluding other kids, ridiculing the other girls’ clothes, just plain mean.   One of the mothers was clueless and didn’t seem to notice how mean her kid was.  Another one had a mother who saw nothing wrong with inviting all the girls in class with the exception of one girl.

Every year the various teachers would tell me that my daughter was not a bully but she was friends with them and it wasn’t good for her. She was in class with them all day.  All I could do was have very frequent conversations about how much hurt her friends caused and what an awful thing it was to make someone feel bad.   To complement someone is so much nicer than to say mean things and it makes you both feel good.

She moved on in middle school away from those girls.  The teachers told me she stood right up if someone was laughing at another child in gym or class and told them to stop.

I saw a difference between kids who had mothers who would not tolerate bullying or meanness compared to mothers who just shrugged their shoulders and thought that’s life.   It’s not all luck.  [/quote]

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