Reply to Been divorced 5 years; ex sent text last night expressing regret

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Been divorced 5 years; ex sent text last night expressing regret "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What’s your concern for your child then bases on this text to you?[/quote]

Dad is expressing regret. I don’t want to deprive my child of a relationship w/their father, but his past behavior has shown he isn’t a person to trust. Dad deprived child from a relationship with him, purposely.

I don’t want to harm my child by exposing them to a someone who may end up adding another layer of trauma and pain into their lives.[/quote]

Respectfully- you chose to make said child with an untrustworthy man. You can’t now decide that they can’t see them. If dad wants a relationship he has a right to one. [/quote]

Sounds like dear old dad left mom with a special needs 10 year old completely on her own to deal with puberty and a time when he was growing physically stronger and mom really could have used a dad in the household to help. Now that kid is in HS and the harder stuff is done he can come and play hero dad (or not, and leave the OP to deal with any disappointment and setbacks).[/quote]
 Yes, it does sound this way. None of this changes the fact that dads have a right to relationship with their kids, even the shitty ones. [/quote]

Fair, but if he wants to enforce that, there are legal methods to do that and its not by drunken texts. He can look at their court order and if it allows visitation he can send her a letter requesting it. But I think he's not serious and maybe he had a fight with his wife or something,  so I wouldn't rrespond unless he followed up.[/quote]

This is op. That was my exact thought. Something is awry in dad’s life and he is looking for emotional comfort or to assuage his guilt.

Parenthood is not an occasional job and is about the kid. [/quote]

OP it seems like you don’t want dad and kid to have a relationship. Is that true or am I reading you wrong? Apologies if I’m misinterpreting. [/quote]
She said multiple times how she tried to facilitate a relationship. You’re just making things up now.[/quote]

I’m not talking about what OP has done in the past. I mean currently.

I agree with OP that parenthood isn’t an occasional job. I believe dad’s a selfish jerk!  But OP seems to think dads sniffing around to rekindle a relationship with exW, or son, and OP doesn’t seem to feel that he deserves it. I agree with my monkey mind, I just know the law and that isn’t how it works. I’m just asking OP because I don’t think it’s as clear as you do, I’m not trying to make anything up? I’m team OP and team kid. But blowing sunshine up OPs rear about what an undeserving jerk dad is won’t help when he is still legally the kids father. That’s all. [/quote]

She described her son calling him hundreds of times and being ignored. It took an extremely long time to get over it and he physically lashes out when he gets agitated. So yeah, if I'm OP, I'm not keen to respond or tell my son about it and risk getting his hopes up and huge devastating setbacks just over one text when dad was feeling his feels. Let's see at minimum if dad will even... send a second text? An email? This could all be nothing.[/quote]
Agreed! Of course OP shouldn’t tell a child about a random drunken text from their estranged dad. No one is saying she should. But OP is wrong if she thinks she has the right to determine kid can’t see dad IFF dad does reach out to to kid, or if dads marriage fails and dad moves back.

OP said:
“I don’t want to harm my child by exposing them to a someone who may end up adding another layer of trauma and pain into their lives.”

She’s not risking “exposing” child to a new boyfriend. It’s child’s father. She doesn’t have to right to determine that dad and kid can’t see one another, unfortunately, even if “pain and trauma” might result.

[/quote]

I’m not sure why you are not getting this - the court said that this guy *does not have* the right to see his kid. And based on what she had said here, he doesn’t deserve to. This dad forfeited all of his legal and moral right to his kid. The only question is what the KID has the right to, and that is for OP alone to figure out. [/quote]

You’re right- I’m not getting it. I’m not being obtuse on purpose- I thought OP said father tried to give up his rights and was denied. The child tried to call dad hundreds of times it’s clear he wanted a relationship. That seems to be indicitive of kid wanting a relationship with his dad doesn’t it?[/quote]

Read this whole thread again. You aren’t getting it.

And the father trying to give up his rights means he was trying to get out of child support not that he was forced by the court to have contact with his child. [/quote]

Nor was he disallowed from having contact with child. Mother seems to believe father will “bring trauma” and doesn’t seem to want father to rekindle the relationship with son. [/quote]

And mother sounds right. [/quote]

+1[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics