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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]About a month ago, a good friend from college asked me if she and her family could come stay with us for one Friday night in a couple weeks to break up their drive to a wedding the next day. Of course I said yes since I am excited to see her and catch up.

At the same time, one of my current closest mom friends has been trying to plan a 40th birthday trip and of course, literally the only weekend that works for the majority of the group is the same weekend my college friend is supposed to be visiting.

I am strongly considering cancelling on my college friend to go on this trip since all of my close friends will be there and it seems a bit crazy to prioritize a friend who needs a place to crash driving over a big celebration, but is this horrible? And what do I say to my college friend? She can be sensitive and if I tell her I am going on a trip with other friends I know it will hurt her.[/quote]

This is the best I got, but I'm not sure you can pull it off. I might float something like this depending on how close and honest I can be with my friends. FWIW, if one of my friends was in this dilemma I would 100 percent want them to tell me bc crashing at someone's house out of convenience is &lt; an amazing wknd with mom friends. (As a mom myself.)

Hi College Friend-
I'm so looking forward to our catchup! I wanted to check in on specifics of your plans. Do you think you'll arrive in time for us to go out to dinner? So I can plan for the morning/breakfast ideas, what time are you aiming to get on the road?

I also wanted to check if there's any possibility that you all could stay with us on your drive back on Sunday--especially if we might get to spend more time together? For full disclosure, I was planning a trip with a group of friends and didn't realize this weekend was one of the options--that's what they decided to book. You are still my priority but I thought I would check in to see if it's possible for me to make it to both.

If that's not doable no sweat; I know how tricky it is to coordinate travel with kids, and I will look forward to hosting you all on Friday.[/quote]

Actually, better to just ditch college friend then put them in this uncomfortable spot. [/quote]

+1 If I’m the college friend I’d rather you just cancel on me (and own that choice) rather than send me an email all but begging me to cancel on you first so you don’t have to be the bad guy.  That’s so weasel-y.

[/quote]

If I were the college friend I think I'd want to know the situation so I could plan accordingly and not be an inconvenience. [/quote]

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