Reply to Who decides when to propose, get married and have kids?

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Who decides when to propose, get married and have kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids know very well what our expectation and reasoning is for the kind of people they should marry, how they should structure their relationship so that it ends in marriage and a family, when they should have kids.

Also, we have a certain timeline for them to get married. 
[/quote]

It seems like its all about what you want for them. They must find someone you would approve of and within your given timeframe and follow the given annual. What if they are attracted to partners who aren't your kind of people, want to marry earlier or later then approved window and structure a different relationship than allowed?[/quote]

We only want what would be beneficial for them.  Of course, they can be attracted to whoever they want.

However, if they want us to be ok and supportive of their romantic relationship, marriage, kids ...they know the blue print.   They are also the product of this same blueprint that we have followed.  You cannot benefit from what we have built and then also think that we will support you if you do opposite of that. [/quote]

What are you gonna do to them if they don't follow your rules?[/quote]

Ha ha.  We will just treat them like American parents.

No paying for college, no funding their wedding, no down-payment for the house, no babysitting the grandkids, no celebrating their milestones, no living rent-free in our house after college, no new car when they start college, no generational wealth being passed down to them.

[/quote]

New poster here. Many are past typical college age when they find a partner so college expenses might have already been sorted by then. And you won’t babysit your grandkids or celebrate milestones? Very hard to believe that you won’t want to be part of your kids and grandkids lives that way.[/quote]

Yes, that's super sad! I can't imagine being so controlling that I'd give up my grandchild time over the timing of a marriage proposal or anything as minor as that. How many years does PP plan to sulk over not getting to micromanage the marriage proposal? PP is lucky if someone is willing to marry their kid and put up with nightmare controlling in-laws. [/quote]

:wink: Don't worry.  Kids are married or on track to be married.  To wonderful people (outside of our culture) who are the kind of people we would have wanted for our kids.

Our kids also are intelligent and sorted people who avoided toxic/loser people from dysfunctional families - so they chose very wisely.  [/quote]

You sound very smug but I’ll note that my Indian friends have unhappy marriages [/quote]

This poster does sound arrogantly smug but as far as your comment goes, Americans of all origins have more unhappy or failed marriages than happy and stable ones so why would you  single out just one group?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics