Reply to What do people mean when they say 2 kids is really hard?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]2 is hard if you have 1 as miserable as people have described on this thread.  Sounds like people are raising monsters, not children.  We have 3 under 4 and yes, it's tiring and time consuming, but no one's running away, they eat the same meal or don't eat that night, they understand we're a family and we love one another so it's a lot of playing together and helping one another.  It's all perspective folks.  Expect them to control your lives and they will.  Keep control of your lives and kids are a wonderful compliment to it.[/quote]

This. Another person with 3 under 4 here. I couldn't have said it better myself.[/quote]

I agree. It is about parenting philosophy and the time you spend teaching your kids how to act. it seesm many of these parents that find it incredibly hard have a child centred parenting philosophy where they just run around after their child reacting to what they are doing, trying to give them what they want to keep them happy. That would be exhausting.

In our house...
Bedtime means bedtime
Stay with mommy means stay with mommy
Don't touch that means don't touch that
I said no means I said no
You need to wait a minute means you need to wait a minute
This is what we are having for dinner means this is what we are having for dinner

It is so much easier. The kids are happy because they have structure and know the expectations and we get to enjoy our time with them because we aren't constantly putting out fires, dealing with power struggles and chasing kids around. I have four in 5 years. One is the most stubborn child you have ever met, another is ADHD and easily distracted and impulsive yet even my two difficult kids have learned how to behave in a respectful and appropriate way. I have never understood the whole child-centred approach, I see it everywhere with parents chasing kids around, calling plaintively to the child to please listen to mommy while the child ignores them and does as they please and mommy has no respect or authority beyond running herself ragged, being owned by her child. They then end up having to deal with tears and screaming and dragging the child away. [b]It is so much more work and so much harder then spending the time early on to teach your kids how to behave and to respect their parents.[/b]  [/quote]

Any references for guides on how, exactly, to do this and what parenting behaviors to avoid if you want to enforce appropriate boundaries for your kids consistently?  As a first time parent I know where I want to get, but I have difficulty seeing how, exactly, to get there.[/quote]

Not PP, but we've used 1-2-3 Magic to great effect.  Be careful about extrapolating from holier-than-thou posts like this, though.  Not all kids are the same, and sometimes behavior is bad no matter how great a parent you are.  [/quote]

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