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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op. If it’s a mistake, he’ll figure it out.

He’s not going to say later, mom, why didn’t you warn me? Last thing on his mind.

You don’t have a role here. [/quote]
I know. I don't want a role at all but he is venting to me. All I tell him is that his feelings are valid but he has to take action, decide what he wants his life to look like, and put his foot down to her if he wants things to chance.

Luckily he has a counseling appointment this week. [/quote]

This is it, 100%. You're doing great!

He trusts you enough to be vulnerable and share what's going on.

You're validating his feelings and encouraging him to reflect on who he is and what he wants and values.

You're offering advice that is minimal but yet practical and exactly on point.

And he's set up an appointment to speak with a counselor, which tells me three things: He's mature enough to know when he needs extra help, he's not too overwhelmed to seek it out, and obviously, he's not dependent on you.

To me, this is the DREAM scenario for an 18 year old who has just started college and is struggling with a big challenge that feels overwhelming to them in the moment.

Rather than numbing out, sucking it up, or falling apart, he's working through this in a mature way. My guess is he'll come through it just fine - and with some new awareness and clarity that will only help him in future relationships (romantic and otherwise).

Cheers to you both, and fingers crossed that it plays out sooner rather than later. [/quote]

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