Reply to Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am sorry you have to deal with the meanspirited posters on DCUM. They should be ashamed of themselves.

This is a horrible situation to deal with. And unfortunately it falls on you to address it, which sucks and is not fair to you, but it is what it is.

I can speak to my experience which is that when DH lost control around DD, I stepped in and told him straight out he was being abusive. I told him to get away from her and not ever do it again. That got him to step out of his cloud of anger and realize he was way out of line. When sleep deprived DH sometimes still gets irritable and I call him out but he has vastly improved.

I don't know enough to tell you what to do. If having a come to Jesus talk with him about his behavior is not something you feel safe doing, it may be a good idea for you to speak with a therapist about this. What he is doing is not okay.[/quote]

I told my similar DH that his behavior was abuse in the hopes that it would wake him up and it made him angrier. He told me I didn’t have a right to tell him what abuse was and I was abusive for telling him that. There was no going back from that and it was pretty much nonstop rage and contempt from there. He moved out, which is something, but now we are in a weird place where he will not agree to terms of separation and I will have to take him to court and am meanwhile doing 100% of everything.

Not saying that calling him out is not something to try, but proceed with caution if you have even the tiniest fear that this could make the situation worse for you or your children.

I am so mad and ashamed of these so-called men who seem to be lurking everywhere and playing the good guy in public.[/quote]

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