Reply to Is Andropause real?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is Andropause real?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Question: for the men who behave this way (grumpy, hostile, leaving, personality change,  etc) how many are moderate to heavy drinkers? Wondering if there is a correlation.[/quote]

I actually think there is another culprit — consumption of internet porn.   This is not talked about very much openly and hasn’t even been mentioned at all in this thread but it is a very real issue.

I know this first hand as I was completely consumed by porn up until 2 years ago.   And it fostered all of the traits being described in these posts.   I had tons of resentment towards my wife because we weren’t having the type of sex that I was watching in porn (even though it was completely unrealistic and abusive in many instances because the women and men working in the industry come from broken backgrounds).  Because I would stay up late at night watching porn, I wasn’t sleeping well and would be irritated in the morning.  I would have porn “hangovers” that were just as nasty as anything I have seen with booze.   There would also be times when my wife would ask me to do various things and I was in the middle of a porn binge and I would react in an awful way because I would rather watch porn than do whatever she was asking me to do.   On top of all of that, I felt incredible shame and horror at what I was doing.  I wanted to stop and tried stopping but nothing seemed to work.   That only made me feel worse about myself and sent me into further spirals of despair, shame, and depression — none of which resulted in me treating my wife well.

Thankfully, I pulled out of it due to religion.   It was the most unexpected development in my life.   I thought I was locked in a prison and now I have freedom.  My posture in my marriage has changed completely.   I now eagerly try to find ways to serve my wife.  I no longer harbor resentment towards my wife.  I have developed realistic expectations towards sex.   I don’t use other people as sexual objects for my own selfish gratification.   I get a good nights rest and I don’t have horrible porn hangovers anymore.   And I no longer loathe myself which has resulted in renewed self-esteem, self-respect, and confidence.  My wife has noticed all of these things too.

To the person who posted and said that her husband left and is now hanging out at their second house — I can almost guarantee you he is watching porn there.  Probably lots of it.  He isn’t sitting around being a monk and contemplative about life.   If he was, he wouldn’t be treating you this way.

We have conducted a massive social experiment over the last 25 years around porn — unfiltered access to the most hardcore porn imaginable.   I feel like the results have completely messed up an entire generation of men.  I feel so fortunate that I found a way out, but many men are suffering in silence and killing their marriages in the process.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics