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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Any men here who walked away from their families?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote] [b]It's impossible to alienate someone from someone who's constantly around.[/b] There's no amount of "spite" that would invalidate the loving, constant presence and attention of the child's other parent. It's a lot harder to be present and attentive if you bail on your family, at which point, you've "alienated" yourself. And if you did so in a way that makes you the AH, well, there's cause for the spite. Truthfully though: your kids will figure out the truth of who left and why and remember who was there and when. You can't fake connection, and you can't fake attention and care. The truth will out.[/quote] This is incorrect, unfortunately. My sister is the SAHM, always there for her kids, the one to help with homework, make meals, drive, etc. Her husband travels very frequently for his career but when home mocks, belittles, screams and disrespects her in front of and to the kids. He talks about her to the kids behind her back. He has, over the years, alienated her from their kids when he is home - it’s almost like the kids are afraid to be nice to her in front of him. It’s marginally better when he’s traveling, but now the kids (teens) have witnessed the disrespect for so long that they dish it out, too. It’s a horrible situation that she has stayed in for the sake of the kids, but has still ended up with them basically icing her out and treating her with disdain anyway. Hopefully when they are adults they will see things from a different perspective, and hopefully by that time their parents won’t be together. But I know from witnessing this that parental alienation can happen whether or not a parent leaves the home, and I can imagine situations where a parent should leave even knowing the alienation would continue. [/quote]
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