Reply to fighting w/SO--is this normal or ok?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lol. 
"Youre so fragile"
"I can't have an argument without bursting into flames and yelling profanities and insults"

Right right. Makes total sense. [/quote]

DP.  99/100 times I disagree with my husband about something we resolve it easily.  
1/100 times we have a disagreement it ends up as a fight and we yell.

I’m not scared of being mad or having my spouse get mad at me, and I don’t consider myself a victim or a perpetrator of abuse because of it.

[/quote]
There is a difference between being/getting mad, and swearing at your partner and calling them names. Everyone gets mad at some point. How you deal with it is what matters. Insulting your spouse in anger is not a healthy way of resolving it.

"Insulting your spouse in anger is a form of verbal abuse, which can significantly damage a relationship. It erodes trust, harms self-esteem, and can lead to resentment and isolation. While anger is a normal emotion, it's crucial to manage it constructively and avoid using insults as a weapon."[/quote]

I guess what gets to me here is that it erases context.  
A few weeks ago, my husband woke me up from sleeping because the dishes weren’t done when he got home from working late.  I was mad.  I called him a name.  I didn’t talk to him other than logistics, kiss him, or touch him until he apologized the next day.  
According to DCUM, I’m abusive for insulting him and giving him the silent treatment.  But I don’t think was abusive or terrifying here.

I don’t know what’s going on with the OP.  He gave us no context.  But I can imagine circumstances where this definitely isn’t abuse.  I can even imagine circumstances, like financial abuse, where the abuser is the one who ends up getting called names.   You just can’t make a blanket statement.

I often think that if the OP is leaving out context it is because the context would make him look bad.

[/quote]

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