Reply to Do "open marriages"/ENM/poly arrangements every really prove happy and stable over the longer term?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Do "open marriages"/ENM/poly arrangements every really prove happy and stable over the longer term?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I think an open marriage can help a not great marriage become an okay marriage. So in this sense, yes, I think they can last. But you have to have two pretty pragmatic people to make it work: I mean, people who are okay with having no real "romance" with their primary partner, and with having no real partnership with their sexual/romantic liaisons. I think there are people who are like this and for whom it works: people who see sex as mainly a physical need, and/or who are absolutely committed to their spouse for practical reasons (financial survival, or because the spouse has a serious illness), etc.

And of course there are masochists and there are also people who just love melodrama... sometimes that can "work" for a long time, though it's not the kind of relationship most mentally healthy people would want.

Bottom line, though, is that usually it is a way for people to distract themselves from some underlying problem that seems unfixable to them. Not a good in itself.

It is poignant and kind of sad to me how many of the books/articles by heterosexual women on open marriages start with "my husband pushed me to do this and I was resistant at first but now it's great, no, really, it's totally great, no really!" When what oozes out is a kind of desperation.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics