Reply to Do "open marriages"/ENM/poly arrangements every really prove happy and stable over the longer term?

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Reply to "Do "open marriages"/ENM/poly arrangements every really prove happy and stable over the longer term?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Obviously all this stuff is having a moment. But while I have not been a model of monogamy my whole life, I find it insane that anyone– especially any woman– would put up with a partner who said "oh hi yeah I love you but need to also have sex with other people." It just seems like a disaster waiting to happen. I mean: I guess I get it if you and your primary partner were never all that into each other? If you've always kind of been more like pals than romantic partners? But if you truly love and desire your partner, how are y9ou okay with them openly going off and sleeping with others?

I know people say they set "rules" but come on. You can't really set boundaries around whether you fall for someone you're boinking. People catch feelings.

I have heard people insist that their open relationship is great and stable, thank you very much, but usually they then say something like "and it's been stable for five whole years!" which is... not a lot. Absolutely everyone I've ever met who was in some sort of ENM situation had it fall apart on them, often spectacularly and with a lot of ill feeling.

To be clear, I am not saying monogamy is perfect, or anyone should stay in a monogamous situation in which they are unhappy just because.  But the ENM stuff just feels like it is not the solution, especially not for women

Am I missing something? I am divorced and dating, and for me, men who say they prefer non-monogamy are a hard no. [/quote]

Okay, but how many monogamous relationships work long term?

You’ve never had a friend who dated someone for a month or two, a year, 20 years, and it didn’t work out?

People protest too much. Sometimes relationships don’t work.

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