Reply to NYT: "The Trouble with Men"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Often its the case of too many choices and too high expectations lead to waste of too much time and in too much desperation women settle for who ever says yes before fertility window closes otherwise keep dating until a divorced dad comes along.[/quote]

I'm a shorter, single 39 year old man with a pretty wide friend group.  The same single women that didn't pay any attention to me 10 years ago are now showing interest in me.  It seems like they're trying to lock down somebody "good enough" before their fertility window closes.  I'm not falling into that trap. I'd rather be single and live on my own terms.[/quote]

It bears repeating that women can get men to sleep with them but not commit to them.  The men who are passed over while the women are passed around understands that women are marking him as a second choice.  No man wants to be considered a second choice, so they exit the market when they grasp this reality.  For attractive women, there is always another man to be had.  For most women, however, they are not attractive enough in their mid-30s to get men to overlook the years of riding the carousel.

The dynamic still holds that women gatekeep sex and men gatekeep relationships.  If women want relationships, they have to stop chasing sex and they have to lower their standards to their relationship-match, which is much different than their sex-match.  For reasonable evolutionary reasons, I don't expect it to happen, so the status quo will prevail.  
[/quote]

In my experience, this is not the universal dynamic. For some people, yes. But I know men you want relationships more than they just want sex, and I know women who want the reverse. After divorce, in particular, this seems to be true -- most divorced men I know just want a steady girlfriend or a new wife. Most divorced women I know have very little interest in relationships and just want sex on the regular. These preferences are even stronger if there are kids -- divorced men want a new wife to come help with the kids, divorced women would MUCH rather parent solo and are reluctant to bring another man into the dynamic with their kids.

Your scenario is true for unmarried, childless people in their 20s, but it's not universal.[/quote]

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