Reply to I told husband I might want a divorce

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[quote=Anonymous]Look, OP this could all be temporary. People react very differently to a newborn. And I have learned there is some fundamental disconnect between mothers and fathers those first few months. 
- breastfeeding is extremely isolating and lonely and pretty tortuous. The first few weeks, the baby only needs mommy. You are feeling it is all on you because it really is.

- on the other hand, husband don't really understand the toll of taking care of newborn takes. They are not really needed, so they never are forced to experience the toll. Your husband probably thinks you are home all day, you should be able to find time to get some housework/cooking done. They think you can nap while baby naps etc. or carry baby and get work done. And some women can do this, but most really struggle.

So that is the fundamental disconnect. You could pump a lot of milk, and just leave for a weekend. That would give him a taste of life with a newborn.

You could wait it out. Life will get easier by 6 months. A LOT easier, esp if you have daycare. And he might do better with the baby/toddler phase vs the newborn phase, which is, as I said, very mother-centric.

Imo this is too early to conclude that your hand is betraying you and considering divorce. You didn't get what you expected from the newborn experience, but honestly, very few people do. Some babe horribly colicky babies, some have babies with serious issues or NICU stays, some have husbands who didn't meet expectations. It is all normal tbh. Just give it time. [/quote]

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