Reply to Why did preschool teachers care that my daughter hummed when she ate? I regret getting her to stop.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kid is neurodivergent and has some stimming behaviors like this. Not this specific one, but she makes a specific noise when she's concentrating (impossible to replicate, it's like a clicking in her throat). We understand this is a self soothing behavior and it's very satisfying to her, but we also know that if she continues to do it, it will annoy peers, teachers, coworkers, friends, etc. So we have talked to her about being self-aware about it and trying to only do it when she is alone. She has actually been pretty successful with this.

It's very hard as a parent of an ND kid because I am actually NOT trying to "norm" her -- her neurodivergence is pretty apparent to most people who interact with her and we are more than okay with that. But we feel we have an obligation to her to help her with certain habits that could become real obstacles to living a fulfilling life.

I also have some ND behaviors and I wound up talking to her about stims I do that are silent or unobtrusive. She wound up adopting a kind of nodding head jerk instead of the sound. She's literally doing it right now while reading next to me lol. It's still the kind of think that will annoy some people, but it's less disruptive than the sound so we've encouraged the switch.[/quote]

What happens if your ND child is next to an ND child who is disturbed by jerky movements? [/quote]

All hell breaks loose and they put too well behaves buffer girls in between then. Buffer girls never get to sit by their real friends, they’re always buffering. [/quote]

I'm the PP whose kid has the audible stim we taught her to switch for the silent head jerk, and the funny thing is that my kid *is* the well-behaved kid who gets placed next to other kids as a buffer. She may be ND, but she's a rule follower who listens to the teacher and is highly conscientious. She just also has sensory issues, anxiety, and potentially a mild version of ASD. The OT she's done is part of why she's so well behaved in class -- her therapist has been very clear about certain social and classroom rules (that I think are not spelled out clearly for many kids) which has turned Dad's natural tendency towards rigidity/rule-following into an asset because she knows what is expected of her and delivers. But she does jerk her head when she focuses in reading or other school work, so if that annoys another kid, sitting next to my DD isn't going to work.

Stop assuming the ND kids are always the troublemakers. Often the most I'll behaved kids are NT and it's just their parents haven't set limits or explained how to behave. Or NT kids dealing with trauma and other risk factors at home. Lots of ND kids are quiet and studious, especially if they have involved parents who get them the support they need.[/quote]

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