Reply to Has anyone solved the escalating meltdown problem (teen AudHD)? Need hope/advice.

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I have an 18 boy with anxiety, OCD, and ADD inattentive.  He’s on medication and is doing pretty well taking Luvox (anxiety/OCD) and Focalin (ADD).

Over the years, he’s struggled with terrible outbursts. We call them meltdowns now - he’ll have some kind of trigger that gets him in an anxiety or shame spiral and he’ll cry, scream, bang his head, pull his hair, etc. All his harmful behavior is self-directed but it’s very upsetting for me to witness.

When he was younger it felt impossible to deal with - nothing I said seemed to calm him down and trying to restrain him from self harm only made him more upset. It would take him getting physically exhausted to begin to calm down and I’d spend a while cuddling him and reassuring him.

What helped him most was his friendship and relationship with another ND kid - she is his safe person and vice versa.

They help each other through challenging times but every now and then something can happen when he can’t reach her to talk things through.  So when he does have a meltdown now, I’m able to remind him of all the people who love him including her. He can usually cry it out for a few minutes and talk to me. It’s a huge shift from before and he’s learned how to cope by talking things over with her or other trusted friends. I’m an option further down the list but he knows I’m always available.

During her good days, I would encourage you to discuss coping strategies with her to come up with some ideas to trial. If she feels like she needs a physical outlet, could she hit a punching bag or pillows? Exercise like running or boxing could also be a way for her to release those feelings. If she feels like she needs someone to listen, are there options through your insurance or health providers where she can reach someone on call or a helpline? The excessive texting seems like she was looking for an off-ramp and just kept spiraling when she couldn’t connect with you.

I’m sure you’ve heard all these suggestions before but just wanted to share what’s worked for us and that things can get better as they get older and learn more.

Wishing you all the best![/quote]

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