Reply to Do you judge other women based on the social status of their husbands?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, here’s my experience as a female physician. I attended a dinner with several other friends of friends, all doctors. I said hello to the woman across the table from me, and the first question out of her mouth was “and what does your husband do?”.

Needless to say it was a short conversation, but a preview of what was to come. I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how successful I am, there is far more worth placed on the status or occupation of my would-be male partner. I’m single, so it’s a disappointing reality for a few reasons. [/quote]

A sort of flipside to that: I'm a female lawyer and my DH is a lawyer and we have attended a lot of social functions where there are 6 or 7 of us lawyers and then spouses. And the lawyers are a bunch of men and me, and then there are the wives. And I end up pulled over into the wives' conversation about where to go for vacay, and competitive bs about their kids, and who knows whatever horrifically boring stuff while the men are in the corner talking about a big case that they don't understand (because they aren't litigating it -- I am). I call it getting "wife'd." [/quote]

Are you unable to politely extricate yourself and join the lawyer talk? Is one of the wives holding you down?
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It sounds like you are very unfamiliar with this kind of a situation. Yes, I can extricate myself—and I have. Which leads to nastiness and jealousy from the DWs.  The last time I did this one of the wives was staring over at me and loudly saying “Not like other girls!!!”

If you haven’t been in this situation, you probably aren’t going to understand it.[/quote]

DP.  I’ve been in this situation too.  I’m surprised at all of the people saying that they have never ever seen anything like this.  
[/quote]

NP partner in biglaw and yes i'm surprised people are saying they haven't seen this.  I happen to work mostly remotely in a smaller town in Florida.  When i end up in a situation with new couples, the women all end up in one setting and the men in another. I don't need to talk about work outside the workweek, but the women convo is like vacations and kids and netflix. The men conversation is invariably more interesting for me -- whether the topic or the liveliness.  Housewives who don't work and didn't focus on academics are honestly really boring.  I almost always would prefer to be amongst the men, but it would be frowned on by the women.

I have had other friends move down here from DC (where we also used to live) and they comment on it too.  It's very gendered and sucks.

I of course found girl friends who are interesting and accomplished and i love to talk to them.  But your typical mishmash of new couples from around town.... really boring.  [/quote]

You're not a big law partner.  It's very obvious.  If you were, you'd be intelligent enough to recognize that what you're (allegedly) experiencing in small town Florida (of all places) while socializing in NON LAW FIRM events with local folks unconnected to your firm is completely irrelevant to what the other poster claims to be her experience.

What you'tr describing occurs every weekend in dinner parties and other gatherings all over America.  Yes, it often happens that when men and woman and couples gather in small groups to socialize that the men will wander off to one side and the women to another to chit chat.  And it sometimes happen that some of the men wish they were socializing with the women and vice-versa.  And often the focus of the conversation that the men are having will tend to focus on their jobs because too often men don't have much else to talk about when they socialize.

This is a far cry from the woman who claims that when she goes to law firm social events she's ridiculed by the wives and dismissed by her law partners.  THAT does not happen.

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