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[quote=Anonymous]OP, ignore advice from abusive people, such as:

[quote]Maybe if you know the reasons forgiveness is possible, if you want it.[/quote] Talking to a therapist about what worked in your marriage, what didn't, and what you could have done better can be a healing process. However, avoid listening to her attempts to tell you the reasons why she cheated by understanding that she is looking to manipulate you into accepting blame for her actions. Often, abusive people will blame their partner for "making them" abusive (e.g., You talked to another man, making me jealous enough to hit you). Once you hear "you should have paid more attention to me, so I had to start seeing him", know that she is trying to blame you for her abuse.

[quote]Why is everyone’s first response to call a lawyer and initiate divorce? A marriage of 18 years deserves more than a knee jerk reaction and vindictiveness.[/quote] She deceived you, and this poster would have open yourself up for more. Defend against more deceit by identifying your legal rights. Before talking to her about the future, find out what a fair settlement is. OP, she was talking to her lover from your kitchen. It is not vindictive to understand what your legal options are. She already knows hers. [/quote]

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