Reply to When someone asks a favor they should not ask

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[quote=Anonymous]Just weighing in because I have dealt with similar situations.

Actually it can "hurt to ask" in certain situations. Especially with favors. I think the adage that it can't hurt to ask works best when you are asking for something you deserve but still might not get -- a raise when you know your performance has been good, for a loved one to come support you in a time of need, for the last slice of cake if it seems like no one else wants it.

Favors are an imposition and it can hurt to ask if the person you're asking is going to feel obligated for some reason over which they have no control. This is why favors in certain settings are just a no. Asking personal favors at work are almost always a bad idea, even if the person isn't your direct report -- people often feel heightened pressure to be seen as helpful and go-along-get-along at work, which can create an uncomfortable imposition.

In general asking favors of people you don't know well kind of sucks, or asking favors of people who never, ever ask anyone for favors.

Yes, OP should just say no. But there are situations when saying no has negative consequences and I've been in them. It would be better if people just didn't impose on others in this way. A favor that involves an 8 hour round trip drive is something that should only be asked of an immediate family member or like longtime best friend. Anyone else and it's an overstep.[/quote]

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