Reply to DH can’t handle being a parent

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[quote=Anonymous]My father has changed zero of my diapers when I was a baby. In fact, due to long distance work, he visited me twice the first six months I was alive. Guess what? He was an amazing loving father after and I am still close to him as a 40+ year old.

Your husband may end up being a terrible father. Or he may end up being fine - it’s been three weeks! Nothing you’ve described sounds like a man who hates being a father, is abusive etc. Some people grow into it, some are good at one stage and not the other (my father in law was a great father to a teen but not very interested in babies and toddlers apparently.) Your child will be fine - a baby that age needs someone to care for them and feed them - it does not need to be both parents (or honestly any parent as long as it’s done.)

Here is a trick - let’s go with your worst case scenario. He will never ever help you with the baby but just do other things he’s doing (job, chores.) OK - then what? You need to decide if being divorced from him over his not helping with an infant is better than being married to him in terms of finances, emotional wellbeing, logistics etc. Only you can answer that but even if your answer is yes it’s better to be alone, I’d advise you to give it a year to see if things start working better. Divorcing with a newborn would be hell.[/quote]

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