Reply to S/o meeting the ex-wife: what are the girlfriends thinking?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The real key to it working, besides the new woman not wanting to have kids of her own, is that the man is wealthy, like Emhoff. You can share your husband's time with his kids, but when you're not able to afford the house, car, travel, retirement that you want because he needs to fund their college and weddings and cover the cost for those kids to join you on vacation to Europe, there will be problems. For men who divorced women who didn't earn much or didn't work at all, they usually have onerous alimony payments that drain their accounts, even if they are high earners.

Women who never had their own children will have a very difficult time truly understanding the parent-child bond, and that situation is ripe for lots of negative feelings. If he's a decent dad, he'll make sure that when he dies, his kids inherit at least half of his estate instead of it all going to his surviving wife. Most second wives would not be okay with that. [/quote]

You are greedy.  Kids aren't entitled to weddings, vacations, or college.   My parents never paid for my wedding or trips (though I'd never go with them as we went once and it was miserable but we paid our own way).  Kids also aren't entitled to an inheritance.  My parents have given me nothing as an adult.  My dad's estate when to my sister as she took over as executor (we were both) and she and my mom (divorced stole it all from me despite the will).

I am entitled to 100% of everything my spouse and I have.  1/2 should not go to his kids.  They got supported as children and we as a couple will leave them what is appropiate based off our relationship with them.  But, they will not inherit until we are both dead.  My husband was married previously 10 years.  We will be married 40+ years hopefully (25 already).  His ex-wife got child support, alimony and 1/2 his mlitary pension which started when they were both 38.  He's done his share for them.  And, should we die sooner, our minor children will be taken care of through grad school before anything is distributed.  None of our money was earned prior to us being married and I was the one who had some savings, not him.  I paid for the wedding and much more early on (he's made it up to me and increased his salary). He was giving everything to his ex, who then came after me after we were married for more child support as she thought she was entitled to it from me as well (obviously the judge didn't agree).

If you want your kids to inherit as well as yourself, you should have stayed married.[/quote]

You can think what you want, but as a mother, I do think my kid is entitled to money from both parents into adulthood. If my spouse and I divorced, I would 100% expect him to be leaving at least half of what he has to our kid upon death, even if he remarried. And truthfully, I think he would want that too because he loves our child as much as I do and we both want to make life easier for her.

You see it one way because they aren't your kids, because it's not your ex. But once you have kids, you really do have an obligation to them for life. Forever. Your husbands kids will be the legacy he leaves behind when he dies, not you. You'll die too and then what? Leaving money to his children and grandchildren will carry on his DNA, probably his name, and his memory into future generations. You cannot offer that.

You have to kind of hate your kids not to leave them your money when you die. And if I were your husband, I certain wouldn't trust you to be a good shepherd of that money for them until you die, either. He'd be smart to leave them all he can.[/quote]

+1. I am divorced. Our kids get 100% of what we have when either of us die. [/quote]

As long as you and your ex never remarry, perhaps. Spouses are entitled to an elective share of 33-50% of their deceased spouse’s estate. [/quote]

The PP upthread was saying that adult kids aren't entitled to anything, that it should all go to the second spouse. That's not correct.

If you marry someone who already has kids, you need to be prepared for their estate to be divided among their kids AND you and any subsequent kids, if they die. Even if their kids are grown. The expectation that someone is just going to disinherit their children because they remarried is psychotic. Why would you *want* to marry someone who would do that to their own children???[/quote]

For $$$[/quote]

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