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Reply to "Anyone's parent ask them to move out of the house after college? How did they say it?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Me! My parents told my sibling and I that after college we could move home, but we'd be paying market rate in rent and they wouldn't be financially supporting us in any other way. Our car expenses, insurance, and life expenses were on us. They fully funded my life through college and were loving parents. It always seemed reasonable to me. It didn't hurt that I had a solid job immediately after college, though. My sibling took some time to settle on a career. My parents gave them a grace period to find a job and ratcheted up the rent slowly. Sibling had a decent job and moved out before rent at home reached market rate. It seemed like a decent compromise while landing on sibling's feet was a little tough.[/quote] Identical to what my parents did. I still wish I’d had a grace period though. I scored a great job straight out of college that paid well but I had to wait on my top secret clearance to come through. Took months. My parents were very harsh about it. It was a big transition period in my mind and I have forever wished I could have that time back to relax. [/quote] When I was 18, my mother was recently divorced, addicted, unemployed and losing the two bedroom home we lived in. My reasonably well off father hated my guts with every fiber of my being and I had no relationship with him. To him, I was for the entirety of my existence nothing more than a fat dumb and lazy loser. I had to move out. My mother was moving in with my grandmother. I was a very good student and a national level athlete. I left home in August after my senior year of high school to attend a very good university at 18 on athletic scholarship. I never went back. I hustled at union jobs in the summer. After graduating from university and having done well, I entered a top law school and did well there too, about as well as one could do. I again hustled, using returns from trading futures to avoid all loans. It was not easy, and I was more frightened than I really like to admit. I had an ego and bravado which masked the anxiety. No so tough in reality. However, I also had absolute freedom, and learned if I used it wisely things would work out for me. I have been far more successful professionally and financially than I could have imagined. My mother passed away a few years ago and she always felt badly about her role as a parent. I treated her kindly, and she was a very nice person who found life difficult. I know she wished things could have been better. No hard feelings towards her and no regrets. She was horribly abused and just keeping her alive was a miracle. My father also passed away around the same time, although I did not know it until informed much later. I talked to him two or three times over the decades, the last time he again reminding me that I was a fat dumb and lazy loser.. I felt badly for him as he never could let go of his massive insecurity. Never met his grandchildren, great kids who are wildly successful. Lots of sorrow for him. My twin brother endured similar treatment - and was successful beyond measure in athletics, education, and his profession. He became extraordinarily well off. He too passed away last year, paying for his maniacal intensity to have a better life with his health and life. He always told me that I would survive all of us intuiting that my less intense personality than his would serve me well. He was right. Nothing touches my heart more than friends and young people with good and caring parents. Such a great thing. We tend to separate in various degrees in our mid to late twenties. My brother and I did so in our late teens, It was a bond we shared together, and I don't think I would have preferred it any other way. [/quote]
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