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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this has nothing to do with age. If one thinks of it, people who behave in this way have always done so. They're usually also people who don't have many friends (if any) and are socially awkward. They don't know how to have a two-way conversation. They usually also never figure out when their kids have grown up, have their own agency, and should be treated as peers rather than a 5-year-old. They talk AT people. They also think that their kids/grandkids HAVE to listen to them, no matter what (anybody unrelated to them has disappeared long ago). For some reason, there are a lot of women like this in our parents generation (boomers). My mom and MIL are like this. When I call my mom, she literally asks me why I'm not more interested in her life -- i.e. gossip about people I don't know. In her ideal, everybody should be interested in her and she should sit like a queen on a throne and be peppered with attention. It doesn't even occur to her to be interested in others. She doesn't know anything about me or my kids, nor my brother or his kids. Never been to any school plays or sports games. I once asked her why she's never been to brother's son's soccer games (he plays at a high level). She was surprised: what would I do there?! I had to chuckle recently when she thought that a "normal" involvement with this same teen was to offer to pay for his driving school so that then he'd be "obliged" (her words) to drive her around. He refused and she cannot understand why. [/quote]

OP here. Yes, completely. However, my mom will come to my DC's events... BUT she wants to have full blown conversations about what's going on in her life while I'm trying to tend to or watch my child. She barely acknowledges my DC. She usually gets mad at DC for DC not seemingly being excited enough to see her. That and she loves to loudly make fun of others - other grandparents, other children in the activity - or complain about... well, anything. [/quote]

Ha-ha. Then your mom takes it a notch further and considers showing up to events as a way to pay homage to her. Yes, everybody has to be excited to see them and talk to them.

I really think these people don't understand that others have agency. Like the PP who was going on and on that parents (I suppose she was talking about herself) are not interested in their adult children's lives because they (parents) have no agency. [b]They don't understand that an adult has an agency only over their own life, and this is normal. Parents don't control or decide for their adult children. [/b]They don't understand that all social interactions between adults are based between people who make their own decisions and share information based on that. They seem to lack basic understanding of how relationships between adults work. And of course with kids they think that one just orders kids around and the kids have to do whatever they are told. [/quote]

Yes...and adult children don't control or decide for their parents, and guilt tripping ("but these are YOUR grandchildren!"...no they are YOUR kids, adult child )doesn't change this. Goes both ways[/quote]

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