Reply to Parents never ask questions about our lives

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Parents never ask questions about our lives"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve never seen so many people look for the most minute reason to complain about their parents or ILs.

My parents don’t ask about my life wah wah wah, I can’t tolerate this, they are terrible humans!! 🙄[/quote]

You’re missing the point, PP.

ILs who behave like this are truly self-focused and uncaring. I said it’s isolating. Part of being in any relationship is establishing some level of connection and bonus if you can find something in common.

Very telling that my colleagues of five years know more about me than my own local ILs.

I am a kind, gregarious, warm and engaging person in a social services field. It’s literally my job to be helpful, patient and an active listener. Proud to say that I have a gift for developing a rapport with even the most challenging personalities who tend to open up to me and tell me their life stories. So I’m that person. I have lifelong friendships.

But around my ILs, I’m reduced to a woman of very few words - a shell of myself. They do all the talking and none of the listening. They have zero tolerance for basic two way conversations and certainly not for “stories” or even idle chit chat.

[/quote]

The point SHOULD be that this kind of behavior is NOT age-based nor limited to those who are parents. That's the problem with stereotyping.

We have a younger family member who is in their 30s and has never, not once, asked my DH or I anything about our lives. It's been this way for years. We thought it was something the person would outgrow but the self-absorption needle has never moved, despite their own marriage and kids.

When we visit we ask them about their work, activities, friends, children, health issues, extended family members, household repairs/updates, even pets ... and we get long monologues in response to those questions.

Yet we are never asked about those same topics and in fact, are never asked anything. It is completely a one-sided conversation and has been this way since this person was a young teen. At that time, we thought it was a typical teen phase and believed it would wane upon maturity. It hasn't.

Last time we visited they didn't even ask about my DH's recent surgery and they themselves are in the health care industry. You think they'd at least have shown a bit of empathy and asked how he was doing. Same with deaths in my family - not a word of condolence, not a single question nor any signs empathy.

That's behavior coming from someone in their 30s. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics