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[quote=Anonymous]I moved to the DC area from a small town in Massachusetts 15 yrs ago.  I made 40 k a yr out of college , felt very fortunate and comfortable.  I realize years latter, it was because I always thought I came from money...private school,lived on "good" side of town, never wanted for stuff.  I only realized about 10 yrs ago, my widowed mom - when I was 14- probably made 30-50 k (self employed) her whole life.  I have no idea how she continued to pay for my private high school- now 48k /yr, my 6 yr BA at GW, stipend, etc without complaining.  2 other younger siblings in the same situation.  She now lived in a townhouse in dc suburbs- make less than ever- should be retired but has nothing to do that with.  We now make HHI on about 300k/yr.  I worry more about $ now than I ever did.  She thinks we are rich- and when I stop and realize I am pretty superficial and always judge others by wealth, and just plain selfish- I have moments of clarity and realize we are!  The problem lies in what might have been a well meaning parenting style of just never wanting us to see her struggle- and now we just don't know how she did that.  It made me feel entitled.  She will still try to give us money when I want a dress I can't afford- even $100- or help my brother pay for his wedding when she doesn't have the means.  She just happens to be one of those few people who is grateful for what she has- but happy for those who have more.  I wish I could be.  I do not feel wealthy and have always worried about money, once I realized what it takes to get things.  I may have always thought we would have a jet setters life style and never worry about it.  We dont.  Here is what I do have..the ability to say yes whenever my SN kids need a new therapy, to spend $4000 on an educational consultant when we were told we should, and forgo shopping at Nordstroms.  Buy cloths multiple whenever I need from target, express sales, etc.  Live in what many would say is a very nice home- 4 bdrm in DC- not west of the park.  Max out our 401k- no other saving though- and go to the grocery store- not whole foods- as much as I need.  Many,many times day I need a reality check.  This is a GREAT life, many cant and don't have that. I am the first to admit I am extremely self absorbed and unaware of what other make- do not know how to save, eat out for lunch often, etc. Like a pp said, we only compare with those who have more.  To me, this thread is a lot about perceptions- and many of us need a reality check, possible a few minutes a day just to think about what we have chosen to do and how lucky we are.  Over the last few months I have been working hard on appreciating what I have- makes a huge difference in my marriage, my stress and my personal happiness.  Sorry for the rambling.[/quote]

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