Reply to New York Times Magazine article questioning adhd commonplaces (including meds)

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Reply to "New York Times Magazine article questioning adhd commonplaces (including meds)"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son was diagnosed with "moderate to severe ADHD" and started meds in 5th grade. He went from failing to a straight A student. We were already a very education-oriented household who took learning seriously. He'd been tutored by me after school every day, loved to read, etc. The difference was solely the meds.

He needed them until 12th grade. By 12th grade, he was getting habituated and needed regular breaks from meds, because we couldn't increase the dose without triggering serious side effects (completely suppressed appetite, anxiety, insomnia, etc).

And now he's in college, and has been gradually tapering his dose to... nothing. In sophomore year of college, he takes nothing. He still has extended time on tests, and uses it. But no meds. It's a great relief to us that he can "function" without ADHD medication. He is often late, forgets many things... but before he could not function AT ALL without his meds! Now he can. Sort of.

My conclusion is that growing up and adolescence really does a number on kids with executive function disorder, and that meds are sometimes entirely necessary to get them through. But they don't need to use them for life.

Now I'm not saying that my son can be a homeowner, deal with chores, repairs, etc, and  get married and deal with in-laws and kids and parenting, AND hold down a job successfully, all the while being unmedicated. Probably not. He will need to pare down his life and if he wants those things, he will need to disclose his limitations to any future wife so they're not left holding the bag resentfully. But he can have a low-key life that has some of those things, without meds.

As with everything in life, it's not all or nothing. You need to deeply understand the patient, his symptoms, the relief medication brings, deal with the side effects, and... know when to stop.

[/quote]

I think the bigger point is that society should be more accepting and forgiving of kids like your son. They should not be forced to conform to the narrow path that our culture has deemed acceptable. For example, there are cultures where being late is not a cardinal sin and being busy and productive for 12 h every single day is not admired for its intrinsic value. The expectations placed on kids are unrealistic for many of our youngsters. Perhaps we need to rethink our expectations and make sure there are many on-ramps to a successful and sustainable life rather than forcing kids to take medication and adjust to our narrow set of priorities [/quote]

DP here with a DS. This would put us into #boymom territory with nothing but excuses for our “lazy and wild” boys. I doubt any acceptance is happening any time soon. [/quote]

DP. I don’t make medical decisions for my child based on hashtags. [/quote]

As you shouldn’t. But that does not mean there will be acceptance of any behaviors. Boys who have a hard time sitting still are labeled and so are their parents.[/quote]

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