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[quote=Anonymous]My DH is just bad at it. He would probably post here saying similar things to what OP is saying and expressing befuddlement. But the truth from my perspective is that DH is way too into meeting his needs and completely impatient, and every time he’s said he’s doing something for me, it lasts about 35 seconds and then he moves onto his own pleasure and then carefully scrutinizes me to see how good he did. It’s uncomfortable and boring and he’s frankly selfish, and yet he sees himself as super generous and skilled.

I was happy when a really intense surgery involving my reproductive organs put me on the bench for an extended amount of time so we could just not bother. He was that bad.

I’ve tried to explain it to him but he just doesn’t get it and truly believes he’s great at what he is doing.

OP, take a truly honest look at how you’re approaching this. If it’s about anything but her pleasure, then it’s about your ego and you’re not doing a good job. I would also investigate if you are on the spectrum. My DH is and he just cannot put his own pleasure or needs fully aside to try to make someone else feel good. It’s always him first, then the other person. [/quote]

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