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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP Here

There has been a lot of mistrust in our marriage. I suspect he is having an affair with a co-worker but I don’t have definitive evidence yet. I’m going to start looking for lawyers soon. Thanks for the advice. [/quote]

I'm sorry, OP. This was me 6 months ago. It does get better.

I would say that accepting that he was leaving sooner rather than later helped me. I went to a divorce recovery support group and we spent a whole session on denial, and people were like, "We've been separated three years but I haven't accepted it yet," and I was like, oh goodness, that doesn't seem healthy . . . I need to show my children that you hold your head up high and walk away if someone doesn't want to be with you. It wasn't what I wanted, and I grieved and grieved, but I moved forward.

And the more time that passes, the more I realize how lopsided my marriage was. He's really self-absorbed and emotionally immature and unavailable. So honestly this is a blessing in disguise. It's not what I would have chosen for my kids, but they're doing OK. We are securely bonded and they know I am always there for them. Their dad lets them down a lot, because I'm not over-functioning to make up for his deficits anymore. But it's probably healthier in the end for them to see the reality of the situation and not think they have to put up with as much as I did in a marriage.  [/quote]

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