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Reply to "interesting post in fbook group that caused a fight."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would never cut off my kids. Especially for something like this. What I would do is pay for day care so they can work/go to school. This is something I have though about a lot because I have 3 teen/YA boys and I live in Texas. [/quote] OP here. I wouldn’t “cut them off” I would simply not help financially at all. I would still have them over for dinner from time to time and would spend a normal grandparent amount of time with the baby. But I will not be used the way some of these commenters seem to have no problem with. I love being a mom-but I also have an identity, interests etc…outside of being a mom and I am not starting over when I’m just reaching a time in my life to actually have some time for me. This was a choice. Choices come with certain things. And this choice comes with struggle and learning what being a parent without any financial means is like. I’m not the one who made the choice. [/quote] That's extremely short-sighted of you and rather selfish. My goal is to build generational wealth, and in doing so, I do not consider my own comfort as being the topmost priority. Instead, the priority is that everyone contributes in some way, with smart choices, hard work and delayed gratification, to the creation of wealth that will span generations. If we have setbacks along the way, ones that are not in our control (one of my kids has a chronic autoimmune disease and the other has ADHD/ASD), or ones that turn out to be strategic mistakes (having a baby too early in life), then we all need to rally around and make the wisest decision in view of the generational wealth goal. In the case you broached, OP, that means paying for daycare so the young adults can attend college, if only community college to start with (with the hope they transfer to a state college to receive at least a Bachelor's degree). Or find other means to care for this baby so that the parents can find full-time work. Letting them struggle financially without family money means significantly reducing their chances that your family will have middle or upper class descendants. Maybe you don't care about that, because you have a scorched earth policy after you die. OK. If you care at all about having a relationship with your children, I would also think hard about withholding financial support. It's not right to have well-off parents throwing off their children just because they had a baby too young: and make no mistake, "having them over for dinner" is the worse kind of insult you could implement. It's the cruel "I didn't really abandon you, here's spaghetti, but you can sleep in your car tonight like all the other nights". My wealthy grandparents abandoned one of my aunts when she had a child out of wedlock. She could not support herself and was dependent on government aid her entire life until she died of Covid. My mother bought her clothes and food. Her son, my cousin, is 55 and barely makes ends meet. [/quote] You would think the thought of not being able to support your child and yourself would be enough of a reason to not take an IUD out for the sole purpose of getting pregnant. [/quote]
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