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[quote=Anonymous]If you’re in a good friendship/platonic marriage past your 40s, why end it? Especially if it means major financial disruption. Both my husband and I have lovers but also have a commitment to our lives together. Both of our libidos are fading, and if my current relationship ends, I don’t plan on having another partner. I wish I was still attracted to my husband and I wish he was to me, and it might develop again. Who knows. Or not. But he is the one who loves and cares for me more unconditionally, and we have shared values and hopes for our lives. Desire is fleeting no matter what. You can divorce, meet someone else and then five years later that gets stale. What is enduring is friendship. Our adult child knows about our relationship. I grew up with two “monogamous” parents who hated each other. My husband grew up with WASP parents who pretended they never had emotions. Everyone screws up their kids in different ways, so you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Basically OP just needs to listen to her gut and try to think about how she will feel in 10 years. Probably if I were 30 I would feel differently. But at 50, I would not divorce a man I love and care for because the desire has faded after many years. [/quote]

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