Reply to My husband died from alcoholism

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So sorry for you and your children's loss.

You don’t mention the usual crashed cars, lost jobs, lost friends, blackout apologies and mortifying moments that most of us think of when it comes to alcoholism. I think of how much someone would have to drink to wreck ther internal organs and I can’t put it together with what you’re telling us.  
Was he otherwise fully functioning? [/quote]

I am a PP alcoholic drinking 2-3 bottles of wine every day.  Sometimes I drank much, much more at parties.  I didn’t have any DUIs, have a perfect driving record, have the same job I’ve had for 15 years, high performer at top of my field still.  I still publish.

Many alcoholics drink as stress relief, because they are type A overachievers.  I was just as good at hiding my alcoholism as I was good at everything else I have ever done.  Even now no one in my real life knows how bad it was.  I am glad AF is becoming popular with the younger set, it just makes me look cool now to be drinking kombucha instead of alcohol.

The trope of what alcoholism looks like is just a trope.  Alcoholism comes in all shapes and sizes and levels of success.[/quote]

how did you function every day when hungover? [/quote]

As others have mentioned, when you get far enough into alcoholism you stop having traditional hangovers. Instead, as the alcohol recedes from your system, you get withdrawal, which is much, much worse than a hangover. Over time your body adapts to alcohol, which is a depressant on the central nervous system. To maintain homeostasis, your body works very hard to counter the depressant effects of alcohol. Once you take the alcohol away, it's like taking the breaks off a runaway train. The blood pressure skies. The heart is thumping. Thoughts are racing. Sometimes there are auditory hallucinations. Endless insomnia. It goes on for days, like you are on the very edge of stroke, heart attack, or seizure. And all it takes to stop the misery is a drink.

It sucks. It's really hard to get out of once you've spiraled into a physiological dependency. Even when you get past the acute withdrawal, your reward is a complete dopamine collapse for a few weeks longer. It takes months until your brain returns to baseline normal. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. [/quote]

That sounds unbearable. It must have been so hard to get yourself to stop. How did you do it?

OP - I'm so, so sorry for what you and your family are going through.[/quote]

Rehab for the first four weeks. Highly recommend. Then meetings to find a network of people in recovery. Tons of exercise - running, weight training, yoga. It's easier to focus on the body before addressing the mind. And the endorphins help counter the dopamine crash. Then time. About three months until you feel normal-ish. 6 months or so until cravings and intrusive thoughts generally recede. This from a liter of vodka a day habit. [/quote]

My friend’s husband with severe alcoholism is refusing residential rehab and AA. I think he’s not going to make it.  We all think it’s basically suicide.

I think there’s a real complication when people are self-medicating to deal with a mental illness and/or trauma. That must make the process you are describing much more difficult. He doesn’t want to live really. [/quote]

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